


Crush

by DarnItTumbleweed



Series: Crush Series: Jimmy Palmer X Reader [1]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Crushes, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Romance, season five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28906269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarnItTumbleweed/pseuds/DarnItTumbleweed
Summary: Jimmy Palmer can't hide his feelings towards Abby's new assistant. An overheard conversation and a forced favor makes it impossible to hide it any longer.
Relationships: Jimmy Palmer/Reader
Series: Crush Series: Jimmy Palmer X Reader [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119974
Kudos: 5





	Crush

Jimmy Palmer was screwed, absolutely and totally screwed. Why was he like this? Why did he have to be so hopelessly painfully pathetic? It seemed like such a simple task, but somehow he couldn’t manage to make himself man up and do it.

It had been like this for months now, him standing hopelessly aside watching Abby’s new assistant, struggling to work up the nerve to make a move. All he’d managed to do so far was make painfully awkward small-talk in which he stuck his foot in his mouth more often than not. Though he at least did notice that occasionally when he made a less than appropriately timed joke Y/N did twist her lips obviously trying not to laugh. That reaction had been enough to make Jimmy want to attempt to make more jokes.

Still though he felt tragically lost when it came to Y/N. He had found himself standing aside feeling utterly useless and hopeless as Y/N went on about her day seemingly unaware of his affections for her.

He didn’t think that anyone could blame him for feeling like this. Y/N was, well she was perfect…or at least he thought she was perfect. She was so cute and sweet and funny and he had it so bad it wasn’t even funny.

Jimmy could still remember the first day he’d met Y/N. He’d heard all the fuss about the director’s decision to hire a new assistant for Abby…mostly he’d heard Abby complain about it…after all the last assistant had turned out to be a psychopath looking to frame Tony…but Abby’s complaints and resistance had fallen on deaf ears. The insistence that Y/N would be working under Abby, learning from her had seemed to at least quiet Abby just a tiny bit. The fact that Y/N was still young and still had some things to learn which she could learn from Abby seemed to at least win some sympathy points from Abby. Still though Jimmy hadn’t had the chance to meet the new hire.

That was he hadn’t had the chance to meet her until she’d been drug into Autopsy by Tony the older man probably thinking he could torment her in the same way he’d attempted to torment Ziva by pulling her in to witness an autopsy when she’d first begun working for NCIS.

Needless to say Tony’s attempts to torment Y/N had the same effect they’d had on Ziva. Y/N had just sighed looking unimpressed with Tony’s anticipation of her disgust as they stood aside while Dr. Mallard and Jimmy performed an autopsy in front of a group of squeamish probationary agents. She’d spoken sounding just as unimpressed as she looked. “My grandparents owned a funeral home and I lived with them in said funeral home. I used to sit and watch my grandfather prep bodies when I was a kid. Trust me, this doesn’t bother me. I mean, an autopsy is of course a bit more in depth than embalming…but this isn’t my first time seeing a dead body. So, sorry to disappoint Tony, but I’m not gonna faint or puke.”

With that comment and one look at Y/N, Jimmy had been in love.

She hadn’t been what Jimmy had been expecting. To be honest he’d kind of been expecting someone exactly like Abby…maybe it was just that Abby was the only forensic tech he’d met thus far in his career. Y/N wasn’t like Abby.

She was a bit softer in a floral dress and a cardigan. Abby was leather, platform boots, and black nail polish. Y/N seemed to be more floral patterns, tights, and red nail polish which she always seemed to match to her lipstick. He’d definitely noticed her lips more than he’d like to admit.

He couldn’t help but to admire her more often than not. She had nice legs, he’d definately noticed her legs thanks to her tendency to wear skirts. He’d of course noticed other areas of her body, he’d tried far too hard not to stare at other parts of her body.

The stupid crush had him like a brick to the head and it was obvious to everyone except for Y/N. Or at least he hoped it wasn’t obvious to her?

He knew it was so obvious to everyone else given the comments he’d gotten. Tony had been particularly blunt about it groaning and exclaiming quite loudly “Just ask her out for coffee already Palmer, watching you stare at her is getting pathetic.”

Jimmy was just relieved that Y/N hadn’t heard Tony’s comment, or at least he hoped she hadn’t. She had been walking away when Tony had said it…but there was always a chance she’d heard everything. Jimmy could admit he feared that perhaps she had heard it and was just too kind to confront him about it. Or even worse maybe she’d heard it and thought that Jimmy was just as pathetic as he assumed he was. He wasn’t sure which was the worst scenario.

The entire situation just felt so helpless. He couldn’t work up the nerve to even ask her for coffee fearing that she’d reject him and then he’d have to work awkwardly around her while trying to hide how said rejection impacted him.

It wasn’t his fault, he’d never been the one who did the pursuing in most of his relationships. Honestly it felt like the vast majority of his relationships had been him being pursued and then dumped when he got too clingy.

So naturally he’d been left feeling a bit more awkward than usual when it came to dating.

He could admit that maybe he was just still a little wounded ego wise from how things had ended with Agent Michelle Lee. Though he wasn’t entirely sure what he’d had with Agent Lee qualified as an actual relationship. If anything it had felt less like a relationship and more like a friends with benefits hooking up situation. He’d tried to ask Lee for more, but she’d been resistant. In the end he’d been the one to break up with her not helping but to feel as though he was being used as a quick and convenient lay for her. Her reaction had been pretty nonchalant honestly. She’d just shrugged her shoulders and remarked “okay” and that had been that. Sure the pain free break up had been a relief, but her nonchalance had still been a little bit of a kick to the ego for Jimmy.

So, honestly he wasn’t too enthused about the prospect of pursuing another office romance.

Besides he had a slight feeling Y/N wasn’t ready to even think about pursuing love…or at least he was sure based on what he’d overheard.

He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop on Abby and Y/N…it had just happened. Dr. Mallard had given him a DNA sample to take down to the lab and he’d found himself frozen in place outside the lab out of sight as he’d heard Abby speak up. “So you never spilled your guts about that date you had?”

He’d felt his heart sink at the comment…Y/N had been out on a date. He knew it was pathetic to feel so heartbroken over this knowledge. He was mourning the loss of a woman who wasn’t even his to lose.

His instincts had told him to walk into the room and hand over the samples so he could escape overhearing this conversation, but his feet had remained unmoving his ears listening.

Y/N let out a clear scoff followed by a laugh that was unmistakably bitter sounding. “Remind me to never let Tony talk me into going out with one of his buddies ever again. That should have been my first red flag.”

Abby spoke fast to push for more information. “It was that bad?”

“Awful. Not that I’m suprised by it. I went into it anticipating that it was going to be awful and I wasn’t disappointed. Guy was a total sleezeball. He was charming at first but that faded like five minutes into the date. I’m pretty sure he spent the entire night staring at my cleavage. I don’t think his eyes met mine once. I’m perfectly aware that I have breasts, but I’d like to think that a man is perfectly capable of not gawking at them. I even tried buttoning up my cardigan but he wouldn’t stop gawking. And of course he tried to get me to invite him inside when he dropped me off at the end of the night. I don’t think I’ve ever dodged an attempted kiss so fast in my life. I don’t think I’ll be having anymore dates anytime soon if I can help it. I mean I didn’t think I was ready to start dating again, but I decided to take a chance and it obviously failed. I seem to have the worst luck in romance. Ever since my ex things have pretty much taken a turn for the worse. Pretty sure I’m swearing off dating for a while.” Y/N ranted a groan leaving her as she recalled her weekend from hell.

Jimmy couldn’t help but to feel guilty at the wave of relief that washed over him at the knowledge that her date had been terrible.

His instincts told him to walk in now, but he remained frozen in place as Abby spoke up. “You know what would be the easiest way to fix your luck?”

Y/N was fast to speak before Abby had a chance to say it. “Don’t say it. For the last time, it’s not happening.”

“And why not?” Abby whined Y/N fast to speak again.

“Because there is nothing even slightly romantic happening there. I know you insist it is, but I don’t see it.”

Abby was just as fast to speak her words taking Jimmy’s breath away. “That’s because you’re blind to it Y/N. Trust me Jimmy is completely in love with you and it’s obvious to everyone but you.”

He felt even more breathless as Y/N spoke a scoff leaving her. “That’s ridiculous.”

“But it’s true, and judging by how pink your cheeks are I’m betting the feeling is mutual.” Abby exclaimed.

Y/N sighed at this her voice so soft Jimmy could barely hear it. “Even if that’s true. What does it matter Abbs?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Of course it matters?” Abby asked concern clear in her voice.

Jimmy felt his heart crack as Y/N spoke her voice still so soft. "It would never work trust me. I mean…don’t get me wrong, Jimmy seems like he’s a really great guy. He seems kind of awkward but still sweet…but that’s the problem. He deserves far more than I could give him right now. I mean I’ve kind of been a wreck since things ended with my ex and I’m just…I’m in pieces right now, I can’t give anyone any part of my heart when it’s in pieces. I do like Jimmy, I know it’s strange, given that we haven’t really had very much interaction, but if the situation was different I wouldn’t mind giving him a chance. Like I said he seems like a nice guy…I mean his jokes can be pretty ill timed sometimes, but I think there’s a lot to like about him…like how he’s always so positive. The man has chosen such a somber career, but he still finds the time to be so happy and optimistic. He’s a really great guy…I mean he seems pretty shy around me still… When he does talk to me he seems like a sweet guy and I’d like to get to know him a little better, but like I said that’s the problem. I can’t give anyone my heart right now, especially not when I risk breaking someone like Jimmy’s heart in the process.”

Jimmy didn’t have a chance to listen to anymore of the conversation McGee approaching him giving him a look of confusion forcing Jimmy to snap out of it and ignore the ache in his heart as he entered the room.

He found himself avoiding looking at Y/N and she found herself avoiding looking at him.

That had been a week ago and since then Jimmy’s brain had been a mess. He kept playing her words in his head over and over again ‘I can’t give anyone any part of my heart when it’s in pieces.’

He wanted to tell her that he’d help her pick up the pieces, but how could he say those words. She didn’t even know he had heard the entire conversation and if he reveled that to her she’d most likely be pissed that he’d evesdropped on such a private conversation.

Still though he couldn’t shake the ache in his heart no matter how hard he tried.

It seemed as though fate had a cruel sense of humor because the very subject of his heartache made her way into Autopsy a bagged piece of evidence in hand.

She smiled the ache in Jimmy’s heart lifting slightly as Ducky greeted her. “Y/N what are you doing here so late on a Friday night? I thought you’d already have headed out?”

“I’m about to head out, Abby wanted me to drop this by Autopsy. She said you’d know what it was.” Y/N explained handing the bag over to Ducky not paying any mind to Jimmy who once again found himself gawking at her.

She allowed Ducky to talk her ear off being far too polite to interrupt his tangents. It was something Jimmy had found he liked about her, how she was just as happy to listen to Ducky’s stories as he was.

She had actually found herself hanging around Ducky quite a bit. Dr. Mallard had developed a fondness for Y/N after she’d mentioned that her grandmother was from the same area of Scotland where Ducky’s family hailed from. Since then she’d spent much of her freetime with Ducky enjoying tea and the occasional lunch. Jimmy had been drug along on more than a few of those lunches at Ducky’s insistance, but Jimmy had found himself unable to even work up the nerve to have much of a conversation with Y/N. Thankfully Ducky talked enough for both of them, but still it was always such an awkward experiance sitting there unable to do nothing more than stare at Y/N over lunch trying to pretend he wasn’t terrified of making a fool of himself in front of her.

Jimmy barely realized he’d spaced out once again finding himself entranced by Y/N even with his current heartache over her.

He only snapped out of it as Y/N spoke a soft sigh leaving her. “You guys should probably consider packing it up soon though. It looks like it’s getting nasty outside and lucky me still has a car at the shop. I’m not looking forward to waiting on a taxi in this mess. I think we’ve already gotten a few inches of snow and it’s barely November. It isn’t even technically winter yet, I can’t believe it’s so cold already.”

Jimmy widened his eyes as Ducky was fast to speak apparently spotting the perfect opprotunity. “I do believe you might be in luck my dear. If I’m correct Mr. Palmer’s apartment isn’t far from yours. I’m sure he’d be happy to give you a ride.”

Jimmy hoped he wasn’t too pale at the suggestion. Of course Ducky would suggest this. The man had been not so subtly trying to give him dating advice when it came to Y/N for a good while now. He’d been fast to comment on her being an attractive intelligent young lady to Jimmy. Then there had been the more blunt comment of “Mr. Palmer I’ve always found the easiest way to romance a young lady is to start with asking for a simple dinner date. It’s not that difficult.”

Y/N widened her eyes not noticing Jimmy’s look of hesitation. “I wouldn’t want to be a burden.”

“Yes…I mean no..I mean..no you wouldn’t be a burden. You could never be a burden. Just let me gather my things.” Jimmy exclaimed scrambling to move biting his tongue to stop himself from saying anything more fearing he’d make a fool of himself.

He ignored the knowing smile on Ducky’s lips as he watched Jimmy move. Jimmy wasn’t sure if he loved his mentor at the moment or hated him.

……………………………..

Y/N wasn’t lying. The weather outside was a mess which meant that the traffic was a mess. At least Jimmy’s car’s heater worked.

He shifted in his seat not helping but to peak over at her as they sat stuck in the same traffic it had felt like they’d been sitting in for an eternity now.

She spoke as she noticed his eyes on her. “I can’t thank you enough for the ride Jimmy. My stupid car would choose to fail on me when we’re expecting the worst winter storm of a century. I tried to get over to a rental place to see if I could just rent a car until mine is out of the shop, but then we got a case and I just didn’t have the time. Abby has been giving me rides home lately but she had plans tonight.”

Jimmy cleared his throat trying to pretend he hadn’t been once again staring at her. “It’s not a problem really. I’m happy to do it.”

He spoke again trying to fill the silence. He never could deal with too much silence, not when he was anxious. The silence just made him feel more anxious. “How’s that going? Working with Abby. I know things were tense at first.”

Y/N felt a small smile cross her lips as she spoke. “Better. I know she wasn’t happy about my hiring. I think we’ve learned to work together though. She’s great honestly. I think we’ve become pretty good friends. I did learn to bring headphones to work though…don’t tell her I said this, but her music is…it’s very Abby.”

Jimmy managed to work out a laugh at her comment though his anxiety was still swirling around in his gut. He was so close to her in such a confined space. He could smell her perfume so clearly. It was a soft rose scent that he wanted to lean in closer to. He resisted the urge though knowing it would just make him look like a total creep if he didn’t already seem like a total creep with the way he stared at her constantly.

He was thankful as the traffic lifted allowing them to move a little further down the street though it didn’t last for long as traffic came to a stand still once again.

He cleared his throat again as he spoke having the feeling they weren’t going to be making it home any time soon. “How’s working with everyone else?”

“It’s going okay I think. I mean McGee seems nice and Ziva is intense, but nice. Dr. Mallard and you are great. Tony is…Tony…and Gibbs scares the hell out of me.” Y/N explained the final part of her statement working a laugh out of Jimmy.

“I think Gibbs scares everyone.” He reassured her.

She let out a soft sigh as she spoke. “He doesn’t scare Abby.”

“That’s because she’s his favorite.” Jimmy insisted causing Y/N to laugh knowing that this statement was probably true.

She let out a soft sigh as she spoke her choice in conversation making Jimmy’s heart race. “I have learned one thing though, don’t let Tony set me up on dates.”

Jimmy tried to play it cool trying to pretend he hadn’t already heard the entire story about Y/N’s ill fated date. “I’d imagine the reason is pretty obvious. I mean he’s Tony.”

He cringed hoping she didn’t think he was implying that she should have known what she was signing up for.

He was relieved as she chuckled not seeming offended by his comment. “That’s true. I should have considered the source of my date before I agreed to it. I guess I just thought I’d take the risk. I am regretting that choice.”

“That bad huh?” Jimmy asked Y/N letting out a soft sigh.

“Awful. I think I might be broken to be honest. I seem to attract just the worst people apparently.”

He felt his heart ache at this comment. He was fast to speak “You aren’t broken. You’re far from broken.”

Y/N let out a soft sigh cringing at the fact that she’d even allowed the conversation to venture this direction. She was sure her relationship issues and insecurities were charming to have to listen to.

She let out another sigh knowing she was already digging her grave with this entire conversation, she might as well dig a little further. “That’s a sweet reassurance, but trust me. There has to be something very wrong with me. It’d explain why every guy I date treats me like crap. I mean take my ex for example. I poured myself into that relationship only to realize that he can’t commit because he’s still hung up on his ex and I can’t compete with her memory apparently. Then there was the guy who cheated on me. And then there was the guy who stole from me constantly. Sometimes I think I have some kind of forcefield around me that draws in assholes. I can never seem to find a nice guy and somehow I feel like if I did find one I would just ruin it. I’m beginning to think that I’m probably too damaged for someone nice.”

Jimmy parted his lips wanting to tell her that the men who had mistreated her were the ones who had something wrong with them not her.

He didn’t have a chance to say a word though as she spoke. “Sorry to vent. I shouldn’t dump all of that on you. I’ve been told I have a tendency to run my mouth without thinking about whether people want to listen to me or not. I can make things really awkward without even trying. I need to just shut up and let us make meaningless small talk that’s appropriate for friends carpooling home after work.”

He didn’t’ have a chance to speak as the car behind him honked signaling the light had changed and traffic was finally letting up.

The ride returned to an awkward silence neither Jimmy nor Y/N able to find the words to say.

He cringed as they finally reached her apartment a voice in the back of his brain screaming he’d completely wrecked any chance of ever undoing this awkwardness. He’d never be able to confess how he felt about her now.

She let out a sigh gathering her things as she spoke her voice soft. “Thank you so much for the ride Jimmy. I owe you.”

She reached to open the door something snapping in Jimmy he reaching out to place a hand on her wrist his touch gentle stopping her from leaving the car.

He spoke the words falling out of him. “You aren’t broken. They are the ones who were broken. I know you don’t believe me but it’s the truth. And you don’t’ have to apologize for venting. I would probably listen to you vent about anything no matter what it is. I could actually probably listen to you talk all day about anything. I don’t care if you make things awkward.”

He took a deep breath needing to speak again. “I know you feel like you might never find a nice guy…but.”

He paused taking a deep breath deciding to just go for it. “I want to be that nice guy.”

She widened her eyes shaking her head her words soft. “Jimmy, you don’t mean that.”

“I do mean it though. I don’t really do a very good job of hiding how much I like you. I think I’ve liked you from the second I saw you…when Tony drug you into Autopsy and you weren’t creeped out. I thought I’d be able to shake the crush eventually but the more time I’ve spent around you the more apparent it’s become to me that there’s no shaking how I feel about you. I know I’ve been so awkward around you that I can barely force myself to speak, but I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing that I found it easier to keep quiet. I can’t keep quiet any longer though, not if it means holding back how I feel about you.” He exclaimed.

He paused taking a deep breath knowing it was time for some honesty. “I overheard you that day at the lab…when you were talking to Abby about….about me. I didn’t meant to eavesdrop. I don’t regret it though. You’re wrong though, about what you said, about how you would ruin things.”

“You don’t know that.” Y/N spoke a frown crossing her features everything in her wanting to yank away from Jimmy and run from his car and maybe disappear for a little while. She could never face him after this.

Jimmy was fast to speak. “You don’t know either.”

He paused taking a deep breath before speaking again. “I know you said you think your heart is too broken to give any of it to me, but you didn’t give me the chance to help you put your heart back together.”

“It’s not your responsibility to put it back together Jimmy.” She spoke her resolve breaking her heart aching as she tried to force herself to have the will to turn him away even if it would break her heart all the more. She stared down at her lap sure if she met his eyes she would fall apart and give into what her heart was screaming it wanted.

“I know that, I know you’re the only one who can put it back together. I want the opportunity to be by your side while you put it back together though. Please, just give me a chance. All I’m asking for is a chance.” He stated not willing to give up just yet.

He paused once again taking a deep breath knowing there was only one thing he could say. "Please.”

“What if I ruin everything?” Y/N asked the fear clear in her voice her insecurities peeking up despite her best attempts to hide them.

“Then we’ll put it back together.” Jimmy stated the answer coming so quickly to him.

Y/N allowed herself to look up at him finally allowing herself to listen to her heart. Everything in her screamed at her that he was right. She was shutting him out before she even gave him a chance.

She didn’t want to shut him out.

She spoke her voice holding more conviction than she’d expected. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Jimmy asked almost fearing that she was about to come up with another reason why they couldn’t work.

She answered him the only way she could think to do so leaning in her lips brushing across his the kiss soft.

He eagerly returned the kiss once he recovered from the shock that this was actually happening his hands pressing to her cheeks as they deepened the kiss.

She spoke as they finally found the need to pull away. “Okay.”

He couldn’t stop the smile from crossing his lips not caring how lovesick he looked. He took a deep breath deciding to finally take Ducky’s advice. “Can I take you to dinner sometime?”

Y/N gave him a soft smile pressing her lips to his again. “How about now?”

Jimmy nodded his head eagerly starting back up the car. As his hand slid across the armrest clasping in hers he couldn’t wipe the smile from his lips. He was definitely going to have to thank Ducky when they came back into work on Monday.


End file.
